November 23, 2012
November 12, 2012
Wow so this week was like a sucker punch to the stomach. Man alive. Serious last night I just lost it. I went crazy. I just starting singing and dancing at the top of my lungs. Hermana Venegas looked at me and asked "What do you have?" I think I was just so sick of being sad that I went insanely happy ha-ha.
So what could have happen you asked that brought me to this crazy state. Ugh.
I remember when I use to read the Book of Mormon I wondered how it was possible that people could have amazing spiritual experiences and then after a few years stop believing. I remember I use to doubt if the Book of Mormon was true because it just didn't seem logical that things like that could happen. . . . Then I served a mission. . . . and now I can testify that things like that really do happen. I still don't understand how someone can look me in the eyes and tell me that during their baptism they felt a joy and a peace like they had never felt and then they stop praying and coming to church for two weeks and the next thing you know they deny everything. It's just insane. I've meet a lot of lazy less actives. They know it's true, they don't deny anything they just don't want to do what they need to do. I've also meet really hardened less actives, but they weren't MY converts. But to see one of MY converts change so fast and deny everything. Wow. It basically ripped my heart out. The thing that kills me is she doesn't want to know. She doesn't want to pray she doesn't want to read. She wants to have the peace of the gospel rapped up and delivered to her, she doesn't want to work for it. Her baptism was what she wanted and all she thought it would be, it was instant joy, but moments like that are few and far between, having a testimony is work. And she just doesn't want to put the work in. It was really heart breaking for me. I'm hoping that her friends in the young women's can help her out because she told us she doesn't want us to come back. Wow. . . . it's crazy how things change so fast.
But the good news is that there are other people who do want to work for it. Who do the basic things like reading their scriptures coming to church, praying and repenting every day.
I think this week taught me that there is a big difference in being a "convert" and having a true "conversion." I will do all that is possible to insure that the people I teach understand that difference and really do put in what they need to put in to have a conversion, but salvation is personal. What can be the hardest part of the mission at times is realizing that there is only so much you can do.
Sunday was really wonderful. I think the Lord used his little children to show us his love because for some reason a bunch of the little kids in the ward drew us pictures. It was really sweet.
We have two weeks left in this cambio. Time is moving by really fast. I really wonder if I will get to finish off the year here in Santa Isabel or not. I sure hope so, we have found some really great people that will progress for the month of December.
Oh my! Funny story for the week. We contacted "El Negrito" ha-ha. So I have been here in Santa Isable for FIVE month. And for FIVE months this Moto Taxi driver has been taunting me. Yelling things in English like "I love you." "You´re beautiful" "Kiss me" and man alive he just hasn't given up. Seriously always bothering me. So the other day he passes by and yells in English "I want to be your friend." and Hermana Venegas was just sick of it and says that is it we are going to contact him and takes off to talk to him. "ESTAS LOCA!" I yell as I chase after her. So we go over to him and he looks at me and again in English says. "I just want to be your friend!" So I responded in English "Well then let's be friend. He seemed really surprised that I actually spoke to him and he surprised me by not being as big of a creep as I thought he was going to be ha-ha. We talked to him and joked around a bit. He asked why I never talked to him before and I explained that he needs to treat us with more respect because we are missionaries. And to my surprise he apologized and since then he has been an angel. He says hi to us, talks to us at times but doesn't shout anything anymore ha-ha. I love it.
You have to love Hermana Venegas, she isn't afraid of anything its funnier what she said in Spanish but after words I told her "Hermana you aren't afraid of anything" and basically she told me "Please why should I be afraid of anyone in the streets before my baptisms I OWNED these streets." ha-ha She came from a pretty hard core life.
So that's about it.
I love you all!
Hermana Sadie Jean Taggart